Reposting a Tax Day Post

April 15 reminds me of this classic bit from the Simpsons:

[the Simpson family is in front of the tv as a news report of people standing in line to pay their taxes is playing]

Homer: "Would you look at those morons, I paid my taxes over a year ago!"

Lisa: "Dad ..."

Homer: "What is it, sweety? Did you see a scary picture in your picture book?"

Lisa: "That was last year's taxes, you have to pay again this year."

Homer: "No, because you see, I went ahead and ... year-wise, I was counting forward from the last previous ... D'oh!"

Marge: "I put the tax forms on top of your to-do pile a month ago!"

Homer: "I have a to-do pile?" [camera pans to show huge stack of papers with a Duff beer can on top] "Marge, how many kids do we have? Oooooh, no time to count, I'll have to estimate -- nine."

Marge: "Homer, you know we don't have --"

Homer: "Shut up, shut up -- if I don't hear you, it's not illegal. Okay, I need some deductions, deductions, deductions -- ah, business gifts!" [takes down painting from behind couch and hands it to Marge] "Here you go, keep using nuclear power."

Marge: "Homer, I painted that for you."

Homer: "Okay, Marge, if anybody asks, you require 24-hour nursing care, Lisa is a clergyman, Maggie is seven people, and Bart was wounded in Vietnam."

From there, it gets complicated to describe, and is one of the better episodes.

Quotes from Simpsons episode 5F14, "The Trouble with Trillions" Season 9, Episode 20, Original airdate: April 5, 1998; Written by Ian Maxtone-Graham, Directed by Swinton Scott. ©1998 Fox Broadcasting, a division of News Corp., primarily owned by Rupert Murdoch, billionaire tyrant. Copyright subsequently renewed. Please don't sue me.

If I Posted More Often My Posts Would Be Shorter

Those who even slightly follow congressional committee hearings know that they're a forum for political speeches and the display of ignorance on the part of the congressmen more than they are a forum for substantive inquiry. I believe that C-SPAN and C-SPAN II have contributed greatly to this. However, this stupidity was even on display during the Titanic hearings in 1912, when Senator William Smith (D-MI) asked whether the watertight chambers were intended to be used as refuge for passengers. Members of Congress should do their homework before a hearing. I also noticed that the New York Times write-up did not mention that Smith was a Democrat -- was it in the business of covering up Democrats' stupidity even then? (I kid, I kid.)

Monday marked the 75th anniversary of the end of Prohibition.

CBS ran a story on the earmarks of corrupt high-ranking Democrat Rep. John Murtha (D-PA). They do, of course, fail to mention that he's a Dem. My favorite part of the video is the part with Rep. Jeff Flake (R-AZ) asking whether one of the centers receiving earmarks even exists, and the congressman (D_IN, I forget which)defending Murtha (who was not present at the time) replies "I do not know if that center exists."

In the realm of stories with internal contradictions, we hear that marriage means seven extra hours of housework for women. Early in the story, it states that marriage saves men one hour of housework, but towards the end (when readership has surely declined), it notes that married men do more housework than single men. In this write-up of the study, we find that the study did not include home repair, auto work, or "gardening" (it's unclear form the story if this means yardwork in general, or merely the gardening aspect of it) as housework, which, on average, works against men rather than women. The study does not appear to control for child care or house vs. apartment living, which would probably explain why married people do more housework than single people, or at least go a long way towards that end.

The mis-named Committee on Ethics of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists issued an opinion that could lead to ob-gyns losing their license if they refuse to refer their patient for an abortion, or -- in some cases -- if they do not perform an abortion themselves. In the name of not having the pro-lifer' beliefs foisted on others, the beliefs of those who believe in abortion permissiveness are being foisted upon pro-lifers. Disgusting, but predictable.

Slate has a piece on how those "promoting" health by forcing government regulations upon us, are distorting the cost of obesity. In short, while obese people cost more to treat in the near-term, their life expectancy is shorter, which saves from expensive care for diseases associated with the elderly (and also provides government savings on, e.g., the Social Security front). Similar arguments, and similar refutations, have been applied to tobacco as well. I'm certainly not encouraging obesity (or smoking), I'm just pointing out that this argument doesn't hold up to scrutiny.

Sonny Graham received a heart transplant, married the donor's widow, and then killed himself in the same manner as the donor. Weird.

Absolut put out an ad that La Raza and their fellow-travelers would enjoy. Unfortunately for the company, some other people noticed it. After trying to ignore the complaints, the Swedish company has now apologized (twice).

Ted Turner is at it again:

If steps aren't taken to stem global warming, "We'll be eight degrees hotter in 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow," Turner said during a wide-ranging, hour-long interview with PBS's Charlie Rose that aired Tuesday.
"Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals," said Turner, 69. "Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable."
[...]
Admitting that he's "always suffered from foot-in-the-mouth disease," Turner added, "I've gotten a lot better, though. It's been a long time since anybody caught me saying something stupid."

Wow, what can you say. All you can do is laugh that the last bit I quoted was included in the same interview.

Amazingly, Bill Cope doesn't even need to read a book to review it! I have an author-inscribed copy of the book in question -- Liberal Fascism by Jonah Goldberg -- but I haven't gotten around to reading it just yet. I'll probably start next week. I know enough about the book, however, to know that Mr. Cope has taken a few things out of context and dishonestly distorted them (or, perhaps more accurately, since he hasn't read the book himself, he's copied from people who have done so). In short, lefties don't like it when people point out that fascism was a socialist movement.

Another instance fo blog headlines I love: Michelle [Obama] Will Steal Your Pie.

I've never been very good at the whole balancing a spoon on the end of your nose bit, so I am thoroughly shamed that a British nine-year-old has set a world record by balancing sixteen spoons on his face.

The world's fastest internet connection was used to dry laundry.

Game theory applied to drugs in sports. It's actually sort of a "well, duh" report, and much of it has been deduced by people who have never heard of game theory, but, still, it's game theory and the sports page, all rolled into one.

New Kids on the Block has gotten back together and will release a new album. No word on whether the band will take the new name Old Kids on the Block, Mid-Life Crisis on the Stage, or [insert your joke here].

You don't need college to be a billionaire. I love how Bill Gates claims he wishes he wasn't the world's richest man. There's no law making him hold onto all that money.

John Derbyshire has a nice little piece on Leonhard Euler, including the correct pronounciation of his last name, the fact that he assigned π and i their symbols, and more.

Appealing to the numismatist in me, the United Kingdom has released its new coin designs. It's an interesting concept, and, at first glance, appeals to me, but I'd like to think about it more before declaring that I like the design.

Someone took the time to create a list of seven superheroes that you won't find on the silver screen anytime soon. A few look familiar from similar lists, and were one-off characters put in a single issue rather than characters with their own comic book.

Some college students are playing quidditch -- minus the flying, of course. For those who don't know what that is, it's a sport from the world of Harry Potter, and there's really not much more I can tell you, as I have only a mild acquaintance with the movies and none with the books.

Since I need a LEGO link in each of these, here's a biochemistry lecture given by minifigs.

The Office of Spectrum Management has a nifty chart showing the allocation of various bands fo the radio spectrum in the United States.

The next time you hear a democrat complaining about how the economy is so much worse under Bush than under Clinton, send them this comparison of 1996 to 2008 (spoiler alert: the economy is better in 2008).

Links to Fill Your Weekend

A fan has recreated Futurama in LEGO form, including the Planet Express building and ship, plus minifigs for all the major characters.

From child prodigy to prostitute: the sad tale of one British girl.

Google, jumping on the trendy liberal bandwagon as usual, used a black-screened page for its search engine during "Earth hour" (when people were supposed to turn off their lights for an hour as part of a further effort to "raise awareness" about global warming and all that claptrap). However, the black screen actual consumes more power.

Lots of talk about former New York governor Spitzer was in the news recently. In more recent news, the husband of Senator Debbie Stabenow (D-Mich) demonstrates that he could get it for cheaper, and the president of Formula One shows how it can be an even bigger scandal.

The European Union has instituted some downright asinine regulations for bus drivers.

A radioactive movie set may be responsible for John Wayne's cancer. What's more, the whole thing involves Howard Hughes.

Sometimes headlines and articles don't match up very well. Recently, one headline talked about scientists finding that an asteroid had destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, but the article only talks about one that hit the Austrian Alps. Unless it was one of those bouncing meteors, I don't think it destroyed Sodom or Gomorrah. Another headline declared that experts said it was okay to skip the mouth-to-mouth portion of CPR, but, when reading the article, you find that this is talking about an adult cardiac arrest, rather than all CPR (although it does say "something is better than nothing").

The news is nearly a year old, but Canada has produced a 100kg gold coin. As Americans, we should strive to top this.

The Lord of the Rings meets legal geekdom: property law as applied to LotR.

Yahoo made a list of the 10 most historically inaccurate movies. However, I wouldn't label them the most inaccurate, and it includes 2001, which is hardly fair. There also seems to be some debate over whether or not the battle depicted in The Patriot is the one the article claims; if it's a different battle (the name has slipped my mind), the depiction would be more accurate.

Famous photographs in LEGO form.

April Fools' Pranks for nerds. I like. There's also a list of pranks for your co-workers.

It's nice to see people decorating their ceiling.

A photojournal from a trip with Russian nuclear icebreakers.

As part of this blog's quest to appeal to pure lowest common denominator: giant squid sex is apparently either violent or gay. More on this as it develops.

I need one of these for each of my condiments.

Cracked has a list of five famous inventors who stole their big idea, but they seem to stretch a bit. While I'm less familiar with some of them, I've known for years (and it's widely available knowledge, even if not widely known) that Edison did not invent the lightbulb -- he merely made a longer lasting, more practical one. Moreover, the claims of Heinrich Göbel are ... iffy, as can be summarized in his wikipedia entry. I'm guessing that at least some of the other claims are similarly iffy.

A fifth grader managed to point out a mistake at the Smithsonian that had apparently gone unnoticed for 27 years.

Maine has yet to do much to stop illegal immigrants from getting driver's licenses, and some people are taking advantage (or trying to).

I link here more for the already perfect headline, than for any newsiness: Toys "R" Us Carries Lower Back Tattoo Stickers Perfect For Your Trampy Kid.

Obama bowled a 37. My bowling isn't good enough to make fun of many people, but apparently Obama is one of those people. Also note that the reporter says that Obama "laced up" his shoes, despite the fact that they were velcro.

I get rather tired of much of the "recession" talk going on. Recently example:
some guy: "You don't think we're in a recession?"
me: "I know we're not in a recession."
him, confused and flustered: "How can you say that?"
me: "Because I know what the definition of a recession is."
Is the economy spectacular? No, but it is still growing, which is the opposite of a recession. John Lott has a good piece on the media-inspired recession myth.

A Few Baseball Links

John Mayer has to be one of the most entertaining baseball announcers ever.

Someone has taken the time to reconstruct baseball stadiums in LEGO form.

The Giants and Dodgers each decided to hold back their scheduled starters and bring them in in relief Wednesday night. It was ... odd.

Moises Alou now says that he wouldn't have caught the Bartman ball. Anyone who saw the game knows that wasn't what he thought at the time, and I think this is just a kind attempt to deflect blame from Bartman.

Some Yahoo writers released their predictions for 2008 standings and awards. A couple of them don't seem to know what a "dark horse" is, though.

My Annual Baseball Predictions

I meant to get this posted yesterday morning, before the season really got underway (those first three games were just a sideshow), but, well, didn't.

For the predictions of others, you can see ESPN's experts' picks for playoff teams and awards, or the composite predicted standings from those experts. The Cubs are near unanimous picks for making their first back-to-back playoff appearances since they made three straight from 1906-1908. A few oddball predictions for awards, too (Manny Ramirez, MVP? I don't think so.). I also saw the predictions for some mathematician, so here they are.

My predictions for the coming season, starting with projected standings:

NL East
Mets
Phillies
Braves
Nationals
Marlins

NL Central
Cubs
Brewers
Reds
Astros
Cardinals
Pirates

NL West
Dodgers
Rockies
Padres
Diamondbacks
Giants

AL East
Yankees
Red Sox
Rays
Blue Jays
Orioles

AL Central
Indians
Tigers
Twins
Royals
White Sox

AL West
Angels
Mariners
Athletics
Rangers



As for my annual prediction of how many players will pass Babe Ruth on the career strikeout list (the hitting one, not the pitching one), it looks like a thin crop this year, despite five “active” players having between 1290 and 1300 strikeouts (Ruth’s career total was 1330). Derek Jeter and Bobby Abreu figure to pass him, but the other three are Steve Finley (still looking for a job, and he really shouldn’t be getting one), Bret Boone (trying to make a comeback after not playing in a regular season game since July 2005, and currently assigned to the Nationals’ AAA affiliate), and Jose Valentin (battling injuries and in extended spring training for the Mets, and reduced to a backup role even when healthy). Likewise, Juan Gonzalez is at 1273, but is battling injuries in his comeback attempt (a shocker!). Richie Sexson is 103 short, which he should get assuming the Mariners don’t bench him for poor play and he stays healthy. Adam Dunn is only 238 short, which might be too much even for Dunn. In short, I’d say Ruth drops three places on the alltime strikeout list this season.

Along that strikeout front, I predict that Dunn reaches the 200 mark if healthy, and Ryan Howard, while striking out often, falls short of that mark. If Jack Cust is used fulltime, I see him reaching the 200 mark, too, but the fact that he sat out the second Japan game against Boston leaves me to doubt that he’ll see enough playing time (he did pinch-hit in that game, though, and drew a walk). I’d say that he needs about 620 plate appearances to do it. He should definitely reach 180, though, and, assuming Howard and Dunn do likewise, that would make this the first season with three 180+ strikeout batters.

Peter Gammons and Peter Pascarelli predict Manny Ramirez will win the AL MVP award. I predict he will not.
Dontrelle Willis will have an ERA of 5 or higher.

Alex Rodriguez will reach none of the totals that ESPN fantasy projected for him (137 runs, 55 homers, 158 RBI, 27 steals, .316 AVG), which had him improving in four categories from his 2007 totals (143, 54, 156, 24, .314).

Having had many problems trying to predict the performance of Barry Bonds in recent years, I will refrain from making predictions on if/when/where he’ll sign with a team. I would, however, like to note that I previously pointed out that his legal issues would not be an impediment to him playing, and that seems to be going as I predicted, as the trial shouldn’t start until after the season ends. Perhaps that’s why he’s not signed yet -- too many club executives are listening to erporters who know nothing about the legal system. Moreover, they don’t know the contracts for the sport they cover very well -- standard boilerplate would (at least essentially) get the team out of the deal if Bonds were to go to jail during the season (which won’t be happening, but, hey, I’m making a point).

It looks like the White Sox might repeat as most overhyped team. I already knew the management thought last season was a fluke based on their offseason moves, but now I’m seeing various commentators also saying that it was. It wasn’t. For those who scoff at my projected rankings putting them in last place, I’d like to point out that they tied for the worst Pythagorean record in the majors last season (with Tampa Bay), and were only kept out of the cellar in their division by outplaying their Pythagorean by five games, and the Royals underplaying theirs by the same amount. The White Sox are bad.

In other overhyped offseason pitcher acquisition news, Dan Haren will not be the amazing pitcher he’s portrayed as. He will be more like the Dan Haren post-2007 all star break than the Dan Haren pre-2007 all star break. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying he’ll be a bust like Willis, I’m just saying those saying that he’s a Cy Young contender are going way too far.

Carlos Zambrano and Micah Owings will each hit at least four homers. Yes, that’s a small number, but they’re pitchers.

The Dodgers will find someone to take Juan Pierre in a trade, but they’ll have to eat most of the contract themselves.