Why the Democrats are wrong and other meanderings

Name:
Location: Metro Phoenix, Arizona, United States

I'm too lazy to type anything about me. Read my blog and I'm sure you'll eventually learn a few things.

Friday, March 31, 2006

"The year was 1906; the President is the divine Miss Sarah Burnheart, and all over America, people were doin' a dance called the 'Funky Grandpa'!"

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown
#46 Lisa’s Sax
Season 9, Episode 3 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

When Lisa’s sax playing interferes with Homer’s television viewing, he gets Bart to put an end to it – a mission accomplished all too well when the sax is flung out of the window and into the street where it is flattened by traffic. Homer and Marge then tell the tale of how Lisa first got her sax. It was Bart’s first day at school, and Bart did not have the most positive of experiences, so Bart was feeling more than a tad glum … sure, it’s supposed to be a story about Lisa, but that’s just the way it goes. Anyways, while trying to address Bart’s problems, they recognize that Lisa is gifted and try to find some way to nurture her. Unable to afford selective preschools, Homer discovers music as a solution and allows Lisa to pick out which instrument she desires. Bart’s problems are solved when he finds acceptance as a class clown. Back in the present day, Homer reluctantly consents to blow their meager savings and buy Lisa a new sax. Memorable moments include the All in the Family homage, sax destruction, Homer getting Bart to do his dirty work, Lisa’s story turning into a story about Bart, each appearance of Apu and Grandpa, selective preschool, Homer’s fantasy about Lisa’s potential, shopping for a musical instrument, and the instrumental exit.

Labels:

Thursday, March 30, 2006

"Brace yourselves, gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is... Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing?!"

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown
#47 Flaming Moe’s
Season 3, Episode 10 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Moe’s bar is going down financially, and the beer supply has been cut off. Homer teaches Moe a new drink that he invented called the Flaming Homer, whose taste is unlocked by setting the drink on fire. Moe quickly steals the drink for his own and renames it the Flaming Moe. Practically overnight, Moe’s bar turns into an overwhelming success, including several celebrity patrons and the need for a bouncer. Homer is driven mad by Moe making a ton of money off his invention, and eventually reveals the secret ingredient which ruins the popularity of Moe’s bar, returning everything back to normal. Memorable moments include the “Eye on Springfield” opening, Lisa’s slumber party, Moe taking credit for the drink (the first time, at least), Homer landing on Aerosmith, the “Hugh Jass” prank call (my favorite of all the prank calls in the Simpsons run), the Cheers opening parody (complete with woodcuts), Moe’s belief in Tipsy McStagger, Homer’s search for a new bar (and the look on his face afterwards), the Lionel Hutz scene, Homer’s opinion of making people happy, Edna’s desperation, and the bribe Aerosmith needs to come on stage.

Labels:

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

"I see you've played knifey-spooney before."

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown
#48 Bart vs. Australia
Season 6, Episode 16 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Bart places a six-hour ($900) collect call to Australia, which ends up causing an international incident. The Simpsons go to Australia so that Bart can issue an apology. However, it turns out that the Australians (unsurprisingly) wish to punish him as well, by kicking him with a boot. The Simpsons oppose the plan and flee the country. Memorable moments include the various places Bart calls, Homer paying the bill, the coffins, knifey-spoony, Homer ordering a giant beer and Marge ordering her own beer, the boot, assorted Australian jokes, Homer jumping between countries, revocation of Marge’s phone privileges, the Vietnam-esque fleeing of the country, how funny the Simpson family (females included) found the destruction of Australia’s ecosystem, and the dig at Walter Mondale.

Labels:

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

"Have the Rolling Stones Killed."

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown
#49 Rosebud
Season 5, Episode 4 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Burns is haunted by the memory of his childhood teddy bear and is desperate to reacquire it. Maggie ends up with it from a bag of ice. The family tries to sell it back to Burns but are emotionally unable to take it from her. Eventually, Burns is reduced to pleading his case before Maggie, but he does eventually regain his bear. Memorable moments include the Wizard of Oz guards, George Burns, Homer’s act, “Have the Rolling Stones killed,” the slides (though one is rather disturbing), the newspaper, random crowd beatings, Burns’s basement, Bobo’s adventure, the way the Kwik-E-Mart gets its ice, Homer not noticing the bear, the whims of the mob, the Burns and Smithers tv show, Marge’s greed, Burns’s initial negotiations, and Burns trying to steal the bear from Maggie.

Labels:

Sunday, March 26, 2006

"Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snowblowers? And the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?"

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown
#50 Mr. Plow
Season 4, Episode 9 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Homer drives home from Moe’s in a snowstorm and crashes into Marge’s car in their driveway. When shopping for a replacement vehicle, he gets talked into buying a snowplow. After some initial problems with advertising, business starts booming. Barney, in need of work, decides to join the snowplow business as well and crushes Homer at it. Homer tricks Barney into plowing a dangerous mountain road, but then is overcome with guilt when he gets trapped and goes to save him. They are reconciled in the end and vow to work together, but a record heat wave melts all the snow and Homer’s plow gets repossessed (and, somehow, the family manages to purchase identical cars to the ones they originally owned by the next episode). Memorable moments include Homer’s excuse for where he’d been, the commercials, Adam West, Homer’s efforts to purchase a car, and God’s intervention.

Labels:

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#51 Bart the Fink
Season 7, Episode 15 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After each member of the Simpson family inherits $100, Marge insists that Bart and Lisa put theirs in the bank. Bart gets a checking account, and he issues a check for a small amount to Krusty so that he can get Krusty’s signature on the cancelled check. Finding a stamp for a Cayman Islands offshore holding company, he goes to the bank to complain, which leads to Krusty getting busted for tax fraud. After seeing his possessions auctioned away and obscene budget cutbacks to his show, Krusty flies his plane through the town as a farewell before flying it into a mountain. After his funeral, Bart keeps noticing a man with a strange resemblance to Krusty. After putting the pieces together, he takes Lisa with him to the docks, where they find and confront Krusty, eventually talking him into coming back. Unlike some other episodes, the show explains how everything can return back to normal by Krusty faking the death of his alter-ego, whose life was insured “for a surprisingly large amount.” Memorable moments include the haunted house, the bank and their promotions, IRS Burger, the redone show, Skinner, the funeral, Chief Wiggum on the job at the scene of the crash, Handsome Pete (one of the few instances where I think I prefer the syndication cut, where it makes it look like they stiffed him, which I found funnier than the original), the auctioning of Krusty’s stuff, Homer telling Bart about death, Homer listing off dead people, Lisa not consoling Bart, and the man from the Cayman Islands offshore holding company.

Labels:

Friday, March 24, 2006

Random stuff

The United Nations has smeared LEGO. In other LEGO news, check out a very cool aircraft carrier.

Geoffrey Chaucer hath a blog.

A British doctor blogs about the horrors of the National Health Service (keep stuff like this in mind next time someone speaks to you about the wonders of socialized medicine).

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#52 The Last Temptation of Homer
Season 5, Episode 9 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

A new woman is hired at the nuclear power plant, and Homer is attracted to her. She’s essentially a beautiful woman with a personality that matches perfectly with Homer’s. He tries to avoid her, but the two are sent to Capital City to represent the plant. Homer has a crisis as he inches closer and closer to an affair, but he manages to walk away from it at the end and has a romantic night with Marge. There’s also a B story with Bart. Memorable moments include Homer’s prank, the raid, the duck, Homer’s fantasies, Homer driving in reverse, Homer talking to Lenny and Carl about Mindy, the man with the giant hand, the bar napkin, unsexy thoughts, the elevator exit, Homer coming home to his family, the secret passage and hideout, the t-shirt, Lionel Hutz’s office, Homer’s guardian angel, Homer singing, the winged monkeys, and the sign at the energy convention.

Labels:

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#53 The Day the Violence Died
Season 7, Episode 18 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

When Bart tries to tag along in a parade honoring Itchy and Scratchy, he meets a bum who claims to have created them. Bart is skeptical, but when shown a film of Itchy which predates the earliest “known” Itchy cartoon, Bart believes him and helps him get money from the studio that produces the cartoons. Unfortunately, the film is destroyed after he shows it to Bart and Milhouse. After Bart and the bum are unceremoniously tossed out of the studio, they retain the imminent lawyer Lionel Hutz to argue their case in court. The court case looks lost until Bart remembers seeing a cell from the film on sale at the comic book store; it has the signature and date to back up the story. The studio pays the bum $800 million and closes due to lack of funds. Bart and Lisa then set to work on finding a way to get more Itchy and Scratchy cartoons, but by the time they’ve figured out a solution, the brother-and-sister duo of Lester and Eliza (who look strangely similar to Bart and Lisa) have already presented their solution, leaving the Simpson kids with mixed feelings. Memorable moments include Lionel Hutz, Comic Book Guy, various parade stuff, the bum’s previous conning of other characters, the 1919 film, Steamboat Itchy (which had been the “original” Itchy cartoon), and, of course, Amendment to Be.

Labels:

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#54 The Front
Season 4, Episode 19 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After seeing a horrible new Itchy and Scratchy cartoon, Bart and Lisa decide to write their own episode. When their script is rejected ecause they’re kids, they put Grandpa’s name on it instead, which gets it accepted and it fetches rave reviews. Grandpa is hired on to write more episodes, and Bart and Lisa continue to do the real writing. Grandpa is nominated for an award and sees the results of “his” writing for the first time, and is completely disgusted by it, denouncing it in his acceptance speech after he wins. In the B Story, we discover that Homer never graduated high school because he failed remedial science 1A. After confessing to Marge, and then being embarrassed when his failure to graduated is exposed at their class reunion, he takes the class at night school so he can get his diploma. Memorable moments include playing down Krusty’s Jewishness, Homer’s plunger problem and the kids’ reaction, the bad Itchy and Scratchy cartoon (funny because of how bad it is), Bart’s thought, Homer’s confession, Homer’s hedge trimming, John Swartzwelder, Bart and Lisa’s cartoon, good ol’ rock, Roger Meyers firing a writer and harassing him, Grandpa’s letter writing (each of them), Grandpa checking his underwear, Grandpa getting the call about the check, Dondelinger, Homer’s pride in getting all the chump awards, the revocation of those awards, Artie Ziff (and the bit that they ended up basing an entire show’s plot around in a later season), the writers, Krusty’s adventures with the patch, the second cartoon of “Abe” Simpson, Abe showing up at the Simpson house, Homer’s thought, the Democrat line, Abe’s dream, study tour complete with reused background, Homer’s night class (mostly the doughnut burning and the testing), Abe’s confession, the award presentation of Krusty and Brooke Shields, Abe’s rehearsal speech, how to buy action figure man, the sassy robot line (which did indeed become a Matt Groening series), and The Adventures of Ned Flanders.

Labels:

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#55 Bart After Dark
Season 8, Episode 5 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Seeing an oil spill on the television, Lisa begs Marge to take her on a trip to help clean the animals affected by it, with Marge eventually relenting, and taking Maggie, leaving Homer and Bart to themselves at the house. After tiring of laziness in the filth they create, Bart goes to the park where he witnesses the crash of a radio-controlled plane into a foreboding house. Demonstrating his bravery for the other boys, Bart retrieves the plane, but falls, knocking over a gargoyle statue, and is caught by the proprietor. She takes him home and demands that Homer punish him, which results in Bart going to work for the lady. The house turns out to be a burlesque house, and when Principal Skinner finds Bart there, he alerts the Lovejoys and Flanderses, who confront Homer. As Homer is giving his defense, Marge returns from her trip and joins the four in a moral crusade to rid the town of the house of ill repute. They manage to raise a mob at the next town meeting to tear down the house, but Homer convinces them otherwise with a musical number at the scene. Marge ends up causing serious damage to the house anyways, and becomes the one working at it (not in the naughty way, so don’t you be getting any ideas). Memorable moments include the peach tree, Homer’s poor parenting, Burns in the park, grocery bag attire, clearing up misinformation about witches, bookkeeping jokes, Bart working the greet and toss with Grandpa and Skinner, Homer’s discovery, Homer confronted, the town meeting, the musical number (though I didn’t think it rated as well as a lot of their other ones), Marge’s accident, and Marge repaying her debts.

Labels:

Monday, March 20, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#56 The Last Temptation of Krust
Season 9, Episode 15 (Guide form the Simpsons Archive)

After his performance at a charity comedy show, Krusty realizes that he’s a has-been in the comedy world. After a brief attempt to freshen his act led by Bart and Jay Leno fails, he decides to retire. However, at the press conference to announce his retirement, his stinging criticism of the current state of comedy gets many laughs, so he un-retires and starts a stand-up gig. With his renewed popularity, some marketing individuals try to get him to endorse an SUV, and he realizes that selling out is a more basic instinct for him than comedy. Memorable moments include shoe shopping, Homer arguing with the parrot, Dr. Hibbert, Bart meeting Jay Leno, the review, the bender to end all benders, Kent Brockman the Clown, Rod and Todd, Krusty merchandise, the bathing of Krusty, Bart’s Comedy Jam, the press conference, people hanging on Krusty’s every word (especially Homer), Marge telling it like it is, marketing offer, Jay Leno should have gone first, and, of course, the Canyonero commercial(s) that end the show.

Labels:

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Random stuff

There are criminal geniuses, and then there are guys like this.

Some headlines make you want to read the article.

It looks like Tom Cruise has, er, persuaded the powers that be to not let Comedy Central reshow a South Park episode that deals with scientology. Also, the actor who played Chef on South Park quit over that episode (he's also a scientologist). As I think scientology is a rather dangerous cult (or, in the very least, harmful to society), I'd like to point out that the episode is available for download from this site, which has various information about scientology. Finding out what they really believe is, well, crazy.

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#57 Homer the Vigilante
Season 5, Episode 11 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

A cat burglar is striking across Springfield and the town wants action. Homer becomes the leader of a vigilante group that terrorizes the town more than it fights crime. Homer becomes disgraced when he fails to prevent the theft of the world’s largest cubic zirconia from the Springfield museum. Grandpa manages to figure out who the cat burglar is, redeeming old people and the Simpson family. The cat burglar tricks the town into going after his purported ill-gotten gains, but the treasure, such as it would be, is not there and he used the time to escape from jail. Memorable moments include Homer’s keys, the cat burglar in action, the assorted uniforms, the meeting that makes Homer leader, the megaphone, the tv (especially Homer’s appearance on it), Frink’s security system, vigorous head-nodding of the Dragnet form, Grandpa’s telling of the solving of the crime, hoe downs, Wiggum taking the kickback from Quimby, the It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World parody, and, of course, “Dig up, stupid.”

Labels:

Friday, March 17, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#58 Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington
Season 3, Episode 2 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Lisa enters a magazine-sponsored patriotic essay contest and wins the family a trip to Washington, D.C. as a national finalist. While there, her faith in the system is shattered when she witnesses her congressman accepting a bribe. She gives a new essay for her presentation, which sets in motion a chain of events that results in the arrest and expulsion of her congressman, all that very afternoon. Upon hearing the news, her faith in the system is restored, and while she fails to win first place in the contest, she does get some special recognition. Memorable moments include Homer trying to cash the check, Homer’s love of the magazine, Homer meeting the magazine person and mentioning his favorite feature, the judge talking to Homer, visiting the currency printing presses (out of the dozen in the U.S., the closest to Washington, D.C., are those in Richmond (~100 miles) and Philadelphia (~140 miles), so it doesn’t exactly fit in as a tour of Washington), the Jefferson Memorial, the memorial for the one woman (and as long as I’m making monetary notes (though not the kind I could use more of), I’ll add that the bit about the 75 cent piece is a joke about women earning 75 cents for each dollar men earn (though this wage difference goes away when you factor in the type of job, experience, et cetera)), the phone call to the senator, the singing guy, the winning essay and its title, and the VIP tour of the White House.

Labels:

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#59 Brush with Greatness
Season 2, Episode 18 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After getting stuck in a waterslide, Homer decides to lose some weight. While up in the attic getting his old exercise equipment, he finds some paintings Marge had done of Ringo Starr in her younger days. With Lisa’s encouragement, Marge decides to once again pursue her interest in painting. Her instructor is impressed with her work enough that he enters it into a local art competition, which she wins. Meanwhile, the Burns wing of the Springfield Museum is about to open and Mr. Burns is looking for someone to paint a portrait of him for the dedication. Having run off every other artist, he turns to Marge. She has problems painting him because she is unable to find any kind of inner beauty in him, but inspiration strikes her and she paints the scene she saw when she accidentally opened the door on him as he was stepping out of the shower. Memorable moments include the shameless promotion of Mt. Splashmore, Homer’s trunks, the Simpson means of getting through lines quickly, Homer getting stuck and the kids who meet him, tv reports, Ringo, Homer exercising and the cat’s experience with it, the art instructor, Ziggy, and Ms. Hoover’s reaction to the painting.

Labels:

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Bonds

I'm getting annoyed with all the Bonds talk lately. Essentially, they're trying to turn the whole steroid scandal into a Barry Bonds scandal. I say that, for instance, if they're some of the people in favor of banning Bonds, or suspending him for the season, or whatever, they should either come out and advocate for a full witch-hunt that deals with all the former steroid users equally, or they should just leave Bonds alone. Now, I don't condone what Bonds did, but I think that everyone who used steroids, or HGH, or whatever, should get the same treatment. Either trash them all or essentially leave them all be.

In other Bonds news, he's off to a monster start at the plate in spring training. Through today's game he's seven for nine, with three homers and a double. Even more amazingly, he had a sacrifice bunt in yesterday's game. I would have been less shocked if he stole a base on his bad knee(s) than I was at news that he laid down a bunt. A pretty good one, too, from news reports.

Labels:

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#60 Burns’s Heir
Season 5, Episode 18 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After a near-death experience, Mr. Burns decides that he wants to name an heir. He holds tryouts for all the young boys of Springfield. After a poor showing at the tryouts (thanks mostly to Homer) and humiliation at the hands of Mr. Burns, Bart decides to strike back by vandalizing his property. This stunt goes straight to Burns’s evil heart and he makes Bart his heir. Marge, taking pity on the lonely Mr. Burns, sends Bart to visit with him, but he grows a little too attached and leaves his family in favor of living with Mr. Burns. Burns pushes too far, though, and tries to get Bart to fire Homer; Bart refuses and loses his place as heir. Memorable moments include Homer winning the industrial chimney sweep job, the auditions, the robotic Richard Simmons (yeah, it was a deleted scene, but I’ll count it), Burns’s various extravagancies (spying on everyone, the fake Simpson family, etc.), the Falklands bit, Burns’s initial reaction to a rock coming through his window, and the “let’s all go to the lobby” number.

Labels:

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#61 Weekend at Burnsies
Season 13, Episode 16 (currently no guide available from the Simpsons Archive)

After having his eyes pecked by crows, Homer gets a prescription for marijuana and becomes a bit too attached to it. Despite the negative side-effects, his increased propensity for laughter gets him a promotion from Mr. Burns (due to his “honest feedback” regarding Burns’s jokes). However, his family does eventually prevail upon him to give up his marijuana – well, that, and medical marijuana gets recriminalized. It’s an episode more high on laughs than plot, honestly. Memorable moments include CBG’s informative pop-ups, Homer attacking the scarecrow, Homer explaining a murder to Marge, crowbar, Ned’s visit, time with Otto, and anything with Mr. Burns, especially his presentation, but especially the slap-happy portion that ends the show.

Labels:

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#62 Bart on the Road
Season 7, Episode 20 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Principal Skinner, in an effort to start his spring break a day early, assigns a “take your child to work day” for the Friday in question. Lisa goes to work with Homer and learns to appreciate spending time with him, while Bart goes to work with Patty and Selma at the DMV and walks away with a phony driver’s license, and Martin Prince works the financial markets with his father and makes $600. Nelson and Milhouse are hanging around with Bart, trying to get their use out of the fraudulent identification, when they meet Martin and realize that his money, combined with Bart’s sham driver’s license, they have all the makings of a road trip. Using the alibi that they are going to the National Grammar Rodeo at the Sheraton Hotel in Canada, the boys take off. Relying on an old AAA guidebook that Milhouse finds in the car, they decide to go to the (1983) World’s Fair in Knoxville. Once there, they find only a wig shop and the poorly maintained remains of the World’s fair venue. After purchasing some wigs and a talking Al Gore doll, they realize they are out of money, and matters only get worse when Nelson knocks over the sunsphere, crushing their rental car. Bart’s unlaminated, out-of-state driver’s license is good enough to get him a courier’s job. Lisa gets Homer to order a part from the Oak Ridge Nuclear facility near Knoxville, so that Bart and company can be the courier and finally return to Springfield, but only after using their newfound trust in each other to swear him to secrecy. Bart makes it back and Marge is, as ever, proud of him, but is baffled by several phone calls she receives that night. Memorable moments include Homer and Lisa “camping” at his work station, Andy Williams, Bart as a courier in Hong Kong, the sunsphere/wigsphere crashing onto the car, the lines about Bart’s bogus document, the knock against homemakers on the school form, Homer and Lisa in the radiation suits, Marge lonely, and Homer and Lisa raiding the candy machine.

Labels:

Friday, March 10, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#63 Itchy and Scratchy Land
Season 6, Episode 4 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After seeing an advertisement for Itchy and Scratchy Land (cleverly built into an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon), Bart and Lisa convince their parents to take them there. At the end of their day there, the robot characters rebel and the Simpsons are left in the evacuated park because Homer and Bart had harassed the costumed characters. They manage to survive by scrambling the robots’ circuits through flash photography. Memorable moments include Krusty taking time from his show to send kids to get their parents to take them to Itchy and Scratchy Land, the shortcut, John Travolta (whose career was revived after this episode in Pulp Fiction), Euro Itchy and Scratchy Land, assorted theme park jokes, Homer’s protestations of being a political prisoner and of the robots attempting to ruin the family vacation, and the reward.

Labels:

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#64 Grade School Confidential
Season 8, Episode 19 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

At Martin’s birthday party, while everyone else is getting sick from the oysters, Bart catches Skinner and Krabappel starting a love affair in the playhouse. The next school day, when they discover that Bart caught them, they make a deal with him that gets him to keep their romance secret. However, they end up pushing Bart too far as the courier of their love messages, and he leads the majority of the school to find them making out in the janitor’s closet. Kids being what they are, the parents get the idea that Skinner and Krabappel were having sex in the closet. After Chalmers fires them for refusing to break off their relationship, with Bart’s prodding, they barricade themselves into the school and refuse to come out until they’re offered a chance to take their case to the townspeople. When the populace realizes that it was a romantic, non-sexual, relationship, they lose interest and the two are allowed to keep their jobs. Memorable moments include the announcements, firecrackers, Martin giving Nelson an invitation, Homer’s rocket ride for Bart and Milhouse, getting ice, Bart and Edna meeting at the party, the tea set, Skinner’s mom, the many instances of Bart covering for the lovebirds, Martin zinging Bart, Bart getting even, the kids’ tales, mortarboard, Skinner being told what to do, Kent Brockman being had, police tactics, Armour hotdogs, Chalmers’s summary of the townspeople, and Seymour’s and Edna’s continuing secret.

Labels:

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#65 Trash of the Titans
Season 9, Episode 22 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

Homer gets into a dispute with the Springfield sanitation department, which results in their refusal to collect his garbage. After Marge forges an apology from him, Homer escalates the dispute and runs against the incumbent (elected sixteen straight times) sanitation commissioner in the upcoming election. After a lousy start to his campaign, he adopts the slogan “Can’t someone else do it?” and promises a drastic increase in the duties the town’s garbagemen will perform. Homer wins the election, but spends an entire year’s budget in one month. He finds a new revenue source by selling garbage dumping rights to Springfield’s abandoned mine to other cities. However, when the mine starts overflowing and spewing out garbage in inconvenient places, Homer is kicked out of office. Springfield solves its garbage woes by moving the whole town ten miles away. Memorable moments include marketing Love Day (and other assorted Love Day stuff), Homer’s first incident with the garbagemen (especially his appearance afterwards), the Simpson dump, Homer shaking things up at city hall, Homer’s initial campaign failings (such as the U2 concert), the debate, Garbageman (a good start for an episode to make the top 100 seems to be including a musical number), the opening briefcase, drug dealing, Quimby’s discovery, the town meeting and not the ending (swing and a miss on that).

Labels:

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#66 Homer to the Max
Season 10, Episode 13 (Guide form the Simpsons Archive)

Watching the new midseason television lineup, the Simpson family stumbles across Police Cops, whose main character, a millionaire playboy super-crimefighter, is named Homer Simpson. Homer thrives on all the attention he gets from having the same name as the character, but when the next episode airs, it turns out that they made significant changes from the pilot and the Homer Simpson character is now a bumbling buffoon. The townspeople all have a good laugh at Homer. After an attempt to get the show's writers to change the character back fails, Homer gets his name legally changed to Max Power. Marge dislikes the name, but it's a huge hit with everyone else. Max becomes in with the in crowd, and ends up at a predominantly celebrity demonstration to stop loggers. Max ends up thwarting the protesters and pretty much single-handedly knocking down all the trees that the protesters are trying to protect. Things, as always, revert to normal. Memorable moments include midseason shows, Homer showing off and later being tormented for his name, meeting with the writers, changing his name, Homer's song for his new name and the run-in with Burns, meeting other new people, the party, the swab of pepper spray, and changing Marge's name.

Labels:

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#67 In Marge We Trust
Season 8, Episode 22 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After a boring church service, Marge goes to talk to Reverend Lovejoy to see if there's a way to increase interest in church. When he points out that she's not doing anything, she's agrees to take more action in the church and ends up becoming the "listen lady" -- the person members of the congregation talk to about their problems. Lovejoy starts feeling depressed since his parisheners no longer come to him. Unfortunately, some advice to Ned Flanders doesn't work out too well, and he ends up getting chased through the night and ends up in a zoo. Lovejoy ends up rescuing Ned, which adds some zing to his next sermon and wins him back the interest of the congregation. In the B story, Homer and the kids find a box of Japanese dish detergent at the dump which seems to have Homer's picture on it. Upon further investigation it ends up being a coincidence of the fish-bulb variety. Memorable moments include constancy, a new form of shame, the entire fishbulb investigation, trains, Donny's Discount Gas, babboons, Lisa seeming to care more about the baboons than Flanders, and the final sermon.

Labels:

Biblical Pi ... Mmm ... Pi ....

I'm sure most of you have heard the bit about the Bible saying pi=3. Well, if this is correct, they got a lot closer than that. Interesting stuff, but, then again, I'm a geek/nerd/whatever. If correct, Hebrew pi was closer than any other approximation of its age, deriving a pi of approximately 3.1415094 compared to an actual pi of approximately 3.1415927.

That AP Katrina Video and More

I'm late getting to this, but that's because I'm a busy, busy man. At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

First, they act like it was some massive revalation, but the conference was open to the press at the time it occurred.

Second, the transcript was made available to the public last fall.

Third, the AP reports say that they discussed levee breaching before the storm hit. This is not true. They discussed overrunning of levees, not breaching (which the Army Corps of Engineers considers the development of a hole in -- and not the overrunning of -- the levees). Considering how much time was devoted to coverage of overrunning/breaching levees back in August and September, you'd think the media would have been able to figure this out. Instead, the media's incompetence is on display yet again.

Fourth, they waited until Friday night to release a "clarification" of the matter. They let the matter sit for two days when people were pointing out the flaws in the reporting almost as soon as it broke. Not only that, but waiting until Friday night to release the "clarification" pretty much guarantees that it will receive minimum news coverage.

Incompetence? Bias? You decide, but neither reflect well.

In an episode that was bias, it was reported that after Indian tribes had hired Jack Abramoff, donations to Democrats decreased by nine percent, while donations to Republicans had gone up. However, this analysis is seriously flawed in that it considered donations on a total basis, rather than a yearly basis. As the tribes averaged fewer years in which Jack Abramoff worked for them than years in which he did not, it's not surprising that this result was reached. When looked at on an annual basis, donations to Democrats increased about 115%. More info can be found here.

Also, the media has not given much coverage to the whole Ginsburg falling asleep on the job deal. This page includes an amusing sketch of the event.

In the non-real news front, I like this from The Onion.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#68 The Mansion Family
Season 11, Episode 12 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

After being named Springfield’s oldest man, Mr. Burns decides that he is in need of a medical checkup. Smithers takes him to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota, and Burns picks Homer to watch his house while he’s away. Good times ensue. Memorable moments include the Springfield Pride Awards, Burns at the Mayo clinic, selecting Homer, Burns taking inventory, and good times on the boat.

Labels:

Friday, March 03, 2006

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#69 Life on the Fast Lane
Season 1, Episode 9 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

This was the start of the marriage-trouble episodes for the Simpsons, which seem to be a yearly thing. It seems to play-up the dramatic angle more than most, but is not without its share of laughs. Anyways, on to my normal plot summary. The show begins with Bart and Lisa making breakfast in bed for Marge for her birthday, and it quickly becomes evident that Homer had forgotten the occasion. Doing some last minute shopping at the mall, he decides to get a bowling ball with his name engraved on it and with holes for his finger size and give that to her, knowing that she won’t care for it and hoping to have the ball for himself, in what is quite possibly the most selfish act he’s committed in the entire series. Needless to say, Marge is not pleased with the gift, but decides to keep it, mostly to spite Homer. While bowling alone, she meets Jacques, who offers to become her bowling instructor and hopes to become much more. As time passes, Marge’s resistance fades and she eventually agrees to meet him at his place for a date. On her way there, however, her conscience gets the better of her, and she instead goes to the power plant to surprise Homer for a happy ending. It has a better ending than most of the ones where Marge is mad at Homer for one reason or another and rethinking their marriage, in that there’s not something flashy or whatever that he does to win her back that basically papers over their troubles until the next time; the ending instead focuses on the choice she makes between staying faithful to the man she loves and married, despite his faults, or pursue an affair that would likely destroy that marriage. I can’t quite explain it, it’s just better that way; in general, the ones where they ponder affairs work at better than the ones where they have assorted marital difficulties. Anyways, memorable moments include the stores Homer contemplates, the restaurant (with a waiter to patron ratio of nearly 1:1), many of the Jacques scenes (especially describing brunch and his plans to “strike out tonight”), the bowling ball moon, the color-challenged dream sequence, Homer getting hit in the head with a baseball and then getting his own advice returned to him, Marge walking into the plant and the general reaction, and, of course, what Homer’s coworkers are to tell the boss.

Labels:

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Falling Asleep on the Job

It seems that Justice Ginsburg fell asleep on the bench during oral arguments today (scroll down). Could another nomination for Bush be coming up? If not, does this mean that I can doze off at work, too?

I plan to address some of the recent arguments before the court, too, but I don't have time at the moment.

Simpsons Top 100 Countdown

#70 Hurricane Neddy
Season 8, Episode 8 (Guide from the Simpsons Archive)

A hurricane strikes Springfield, but the city largely escapes damage, with the prime exception being the Flanders house, which is utterly demolished. Ned starts going through a crisis of faith when his woes are multiplied by the looting of the Leftorium (which, naturally, is the only store at the mall to get looted), and assorted other mishaps. His spirits are briefly raised when he finds the townspeople have rebuilt his house, but after their shoddy workmanship is exposed and the house collapses, he finally snaps. He yells at several people there, and then drives to an asylum to commit himself. It turns out that Ned had been the subject of an experiment thirty years previous to correct his out-of-control behavior, but the experiment worked too well and left him unable to express anger. They bring in Homer to try to provoke him, but it all proves futile until Homer rants about Ned’s inability to show any sort of negative emotion, to which Ned responds with his dissatisfaction with the post office – and his parents. This leads them to pronounce him cured. Memorable moments include the animals always being the first to know, shopping for hurricane supplies, Homer nailing a door over a window, Rubik’s cube, the bowling alley, looting, new t-shirts, Rev. Lovejoy’s usual lousy performance, the rebuilt house, kicking and screaming, young Ned’s behavior, lousy beatnik parents, the experiment, Homer’s provocations, and the second psychologist.

Labels: